What happens when someone shouts at us or is unkind to us?
We get irritated. We react. We shout back.
The reaction during the times when we are unkind to ourselves is different.
Times when we,
- Agree to do the work that we do not want to,
- Choose to put unwanted food in our body,
- Let the negative chatter continue inside our heads,
- Decide to be with toxic people,
- Slack when action is clearly a better choice for our well being and state of life,
and many more instances like these.
In such situations, we are responsible more than anyone else for inflicting the pain upon ourselves. There is no one to shout at, and no one to react to. But accepting our own fault is tough so we do the easy thing. We blame the situation or other people, pretend that this is not a big problem, that there is no way out, and continue with the self-inflicted unkindness.
This lack of reaction and logical action manifests in the form of resentment, anger, and avoidance of the situation which is akin to a person covering her eyes in the middle of a tsunami. The devastation continues, she experiences everything, just does not see it.
All of this can be avoided.
It starts by accepting that act of unkindness to self. And, then doing the opposite of what is unkind.
- Stopping or phasing out of the work that you don’t want to do
- Not eating what is not good for your body in the long run
- Not listening to thoughts (even your own) that pull you down in any way
- Not engaging with toxic people, those who sap your energy
Even more, important than all this is to not be hard on yourself when you fail, we all do.
Try again tomorrow. Because effort is always in your control, the result is not.