I got the idea of this article thinking about my own birthday.

We all have birthdays; because we all have birth dates. We may or may not celebrate it but we have a day when we were born. Most of us celebrate this day with friends or family or with both. Most of the people coming over for these celebrations bring some gifts along. Some of these gifts are well thought. Many gifts are just stuff bought hurriedly.

One should appreciate both types of gifts. Thinking that people spend their hard-earned (mostly) money to get gift for a host. You can appreciate it better when you think about the time of your own gift purchases for others. Have there been no 27^th hour gift purchases in your life so far?

Have you ever thought why people gift things? Different people, different reasons; some do it – to appreciate the invite, others to impress or to just be happy – yes it is true giving makes some people happy. Then there are those who buy gifts just to avoid awkwardness of arriving without a gift. People also give gifts to tell that they are there and they care.

This is about when we buy things for others. How about getting something for your own birthday? Have you ever thought about giving yourself a gift – or you leave it to others to get you a gift of their choice. Of course you can make the tasks of your guests easy by sharing a wish-list. Still, a gift for your own birthday is not such a bad idea.

There are two reasons why you should gift yourself. First that it gets you into thinking about what makes you happy and secondly birthdays are small milestones in a person’s life. Most people will have around 70 to 100 of these in their lives. So it calls for a special celebration. You will find people who say a birthday is nothing special but just a date or one year closer to closing their final account. Choice is yours – how you want to see the glass – half full or half empty.

Those of you who think that gifting yourself makes sense (and I like to feel that this is the majority of readers); let us explore some gifting options.

Your gift, to yourself, on your birthday – You can get a gift for yourself whether your birthday is tomorrow or you have just celebrated your birthday. But what is the point of thinking of a gift one year or many months in advance. There is – because good things take time.  Just check this saying – “dig your well before you are thirsty.” This is one of my favorite sayings. So if you want to gift yourself something significant then better start now.

Depending on the time you have at your disposal, here are some ideas.

If you are celebrating your birthday tomorrow

Think in terms of feelings and not in terms of stuff. Think of a day for yourself – filled with joy, peace and calm – and also anything that you crave for everyday.

• Take a day-off from work. It is good to be a man of action but some days are better dedicated to your own self. There are people who do not celebrate their birthday. It is ok – to each its own. But if you want to take a small break from mindless living – birthday is a great day. Start your day early or just sleep in – choice is yours.
• De stress: If you are stressed then bring home your favorite music that you loved listening to and start your day with it. Spend part of your day at a spa for a full body message and a relaxation retreat.  You can also check in a private spa on the eve of your birthday to kick start the celebration early.
• Fans of cooking: If you love cooking then team-up with your life partner, friends or family and plan a dinner cooked by you. Get a professional photographer home for some special pictures.
• Foodies: If you love eating then start the day with a relaxed brunch and plan an exotic dinner with special people in your life.

Those who have (3-6 days) to plan

• Do the new: Give yourself a new wardrobe, a new haircut, a new pair of shoes (normally people do not gift shoes as these needs to be tried by person himself).
• Extended Holiday: If your birthday is on a weekend good. Even if it is in the middle of the week, plan a 3-4 day outdoor trip – that either starts with or ends with your birthday.
• Get your creative juices flowing: Write a poem on your life and record it in your own voice. Make your close friends listen to it or just get your headphones and enjoy your time with your creativity. You can also shoot a movie – with a handy cam titled – “8 hours of a special day in my life”.
• Give yourself an organized cupboard. If you struggle to find stuff in your own cupboard then show it some love. Clean it during days before your birthday and take a photo of your organized cupboard. It will inspire you to keep it that way.

When you have (3-6 weeks) to plan

• Gift yourself a new identity: Give yourself your own website.
• Memories in a book: Gather all your old photographs and make a photo-book with pictures from all parts of your life so far.
• Nostalgic Fun: If it has been many years since you came out of school then plan a meet-up with old friends going back to your school and celebrate your birthday with a dash of nostalgia.
• New robes for your room. Organize your room and paint it new. It will be good fun to wake up in a fresh-looking room on your birthday.
• Mind Matters: Take a ‘Vipassana’ meditation retreat.

You have more time (3-6 months+)

• Reinvent: Get into shape, be free of one addiction, and get into a new habit like writing 500-1000 words every day or calling a client once every fortnight or making 5 calls every day to connect with new clients.
• A new outlook and skill-set: For a stay-at-home mom this can be commitment to herself to take better care of her. Find a parallel path for yourself. Learn new skills that you wanted to learn for long – photography, creative writing – whatever it is.
• Give yourself an organized life. Gift yourself a life that has time and place for the most important people and activities in your life – without draining life out of you.
• More: If you are still lower down at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – then why not attempt to attain some more money, some new clients, and more connections on your professional network.

These ideas are just indicative. Just pick the ones you like and if you have more please share.

My offer still stands –send me an email with your birthday and I will love to send you my wishes.

I am giving myself a new start on my birthday. I have already started on that path. Tell the world what gift you are giving yourself on your next birthday?

Photo Credits

Some of you may ask – is this not important? Sure it is. All these profiles and how you look in public – online or offline – is important. It is part of your personal brand. In fact, it is our duty to try and look the best we can – in any social situation. So be happy, I have accepted the importance of keeping your public profiles in shape.

Now let me ask you a question – do you behave in office the way you do at home? I know the answer -  at home you behave mostly as you are – less gap between feeling and expression; at work you project an image – to please, to assert or to get the work done. If there was no forced projection then there will be no unrest in the mind of youth and white-collar professionals today. This unrest emerges from the gap between what you really are and what you want to show you are.

Similarly there is a gap – between your real self and what your facebook or LinkedIn profile says about you. Even if you share the truth on these profiles – it does not list everything that exists and important in your life.

Have you ever thought about creating a private profile – only for yourself –which you can look at everyday or every month and review all the things that are important for you? A space – which will help you know – are you really happy, are you doing what you want to do in life; are you well connected to people who matter to you; are you on the right path.

This can be your personal Kaizen space; it can give your own readiness score for living life to the fullest. This, if you want, can help you do things that matter to you the most. It will be your everything, no-hold barred space - where you need not omit anything because somebody will see it.

A diary or journal do many of these thing for you; but there you record and do not ask many questions. Here you become one to one with yourself. You can ask some tough questions if the need be. The idea is not to be critical of your own self but to give a chance to reflect, improve and be happy.

For those who are still not sure about what all to include in your private profile. Write what is important to you. You actually need not exclude anything; because this is your private sanctuary – You and only You rule here. Start with a single page. Chances are – as you go on exploring – this page will convert into pages. You can think about as a mini-autobiography with a purpose of keeping you happy and sane.

Here are some ideas for starters. (Better if you let it be qualitative than quantitative; there should be no multiple choice questions here. First ask a question – that can be answered with a yes or no. Then see if you are happy with answer. If you are happy then it is cool. If you are not happy then ask yourself what will make your happy and do that. Keep your happiness at the core.)

Your duty to self: Ask yourself “How am I doing? Am I happy generally?”  Ask – are you being good to yourself – meaning are you stuffing your brain with right thoughts and body with right food. Are your giving yourself time to celebrate and relax. Same way ask about your duty for your loved ones and if you are keen – for the world.

You as an entrepreneur: Ask –what is your entrepreneurship motive? (You motive can be money, fame, power, serving the humanity – one or all of these) Are you fulfilling that motive? Are you doing it the right way? The way it ought to be done – with integrity, being transparent with your consumers. You know what I am talking about. If you are not sure please ask in comments and I will be happy to elaborate.

Your dharma or life’s purpose: Ask yourself – do you know what purpose of your life is? Are you living your life aligned with your purpose or on a different path? If your life is not aligned with your life’s purpose; you will have hard time being REALLY happy.

Are you giving life your best shot: Are you on a path of a well-lived life? As I write this – I recall reading following lines as a kid – from an interview of golfing great Nick Faldo. Nick said in that interview – not exact but something similar – I do not want to sit back one day and think that I could have done it better. You see childhood memories do stick. This reminds me of telling parents – be sure of what (information) you are feeding your kids.

What this private profile will do for you?

This will help you stay true to yourself. When you are true to yourself – you will come across to people as a real person and not a made up act. It will also help you stay sane and most importantly you will be happy from inside.

Do you already do something similar? Are you really happy, ask yourself now? I wish we all were.

Photo Credits

If you think about it – only doing does not get desired results. Putting some thought into what you are doing is also important. Ok, doing is related to growth and success. But doing more will always not lead to achieving more. As Stephen Covey says, “take time to sharpen the saw”.

Our brain and body are tools that help us take action and realize our dreams. Importance of attention, focus and a clear brain has increased many folds in knowledge economy. So it is important to find time to relax, recuperate, and reflect (3Rs). For these 3Rs – you need time; now the question is – where to find time in a day packed with work, travel, meeting and social engagements. The solution is simple – unpack your day.

I am sharing initial steps for unpacking your day below.

Accept: That you need time to relax, recuperate and reflect.

Delegate: Divide your work for the day and delegate 50% of it. If you work in an office with people – which most of us do – delegation provides other benefits also. By delegating work;

• You show that you trust others working with you.
• You are able to scale up the output.
• You make sure that work will continue even when you are not present.

Collaborate: If you are working on a project that requires you to work on something that you do not know much about; find somebody who has the necessary skills. Partner with them. Partnership can be in different forms – client-vendor or a business partner for a particular project.

Curtail your to-do list: Growth oriented professionals people focus on productivity and love to work with to-do lists; as these lists provide them direction and a series of tasks to accomplish within a stipulated time. In our quest to unpack a day a long to-do list can come across as a big hindrance. If your to-do list is too long – strike items off the list that can wait till tomorrow. It should be easy to strike 40% items to do off your list.

Do less: If you can do 3 client meetings do 2, it helps you be more relaxed and focused during the meetings. Get in the habit of writing smaller emails. If you are writer and can write 1000 words in a day then write 500 for a day or two. You see I eat my own pill. The article you are reading is less than 500 words (497 words). If you work 5 days a week try working only 4 days a week. Read 24×7 to 4×4 to explore more.

You will be happier; more relaxed and be able to do more when you unpack you days regularly. It is worth giving a try. Go, unpack your day.

Photo Credits

“Humility makes great men twice honorable.”

This thought emerged in my mind couple of days back while sitting with a group of people over lunch, one of whom was ex-chairman of a large public sector corporation.

I always make an effort to meet people from different walks of life unrelated to whether they are successful or not. I try to help wherever I can and also ask for help if needed; because if you can’t ask for help you cannot give it.

Many people who become successful in worldly sense – heads of corporations, people with more money or with a comfortable life more than many – tend to close themselves to outer world. This change – if you observe closely – does not happened in a single day but over a period of time. No offenses meant to people in this situation as they themselves do not know what they have become.

Such people are personified by following traits;

False Superiority: Such people live cocooned in their own world mostly with people who work – not with them but under them – and who praise them for no obvious reasons – may be whose pay-raise depends on these people with false superiority. This instills a false sense of superiority in these individuals. This is different from having high self-esteem. This is about thinking that you are more important than many in the world.

Living in the past: Such people live in the times that have gone past them and the world. No point resting on one’s laurels and talk about what one did 10 years back or last year.

What is more important is what you are doing now. If you did something great, remarkable and memorable then you will not have to talk about that. People will talk about it themselves. Something what Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Steve Jobs or Bill Gates did? You see I love both Apple and Microsoft for different reasons and guess that is ok.

Living in a different world: These people think there are only few people worth talking to in this world – people who are at similar title, with similar wealth or social standing.

Negative body-language: Such people close themselves to others. They sit with cross-folded hands in meetings and in public interactions. They stand with higher than usual heads.

If you are one of the above then you may be missing on many good things of life.

What are you missing?

Love of people: People give their love and appreciation to people who smile at others and convey that they appreciate your presence. If you come across somebody who rather than smiling scoffs at you then chances are that you will not reciprocate with love unless you are a saint.

Joys of life called laughter: Laughing with an open heart brings great joy to people. Somebody who thinks that he is superior to others will not be able to relate and laugh his heart out. When you laugh with people you experience the joy of togetherness which is irreplaceable.

Growth and learning: Really growth-oriented people are always open to learning. I really like this story about the Zen Master and University Professor.

“A university professor went to visit a famous Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the professor talked about Zen. The master poured the visitor’s cup to the brim, and then kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself. “It’s overfull! No more will go in!” the professor blurted. “You are like this cup,” the master replied, “How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

Many of us have already heard and read this story at different places. If you come with prejudices and think that you know all there is to know then the chances for you to learn anything new are bleak. At times people think they can do without learning new things – that is to their own peril.

Friends and Happiness: If you live a cocooned life then you will get away from real friend; and those who know about the joy of friendship know that it is an eternal source of happiness.

New connections: When you interact with people from different walks of life, may be not as successful as you – then you open yourself to new connections. Connections open new doors, help you find new partners and collaborators. Truly success-oriented people always are on the lookout for new connections.

I am sure you are somebody who is interested in new connections, wants to grow and want people to love them and unravel in the joy of life. If you want to do all then be open to new ideas and people; and meet people with open heart how-ever successful you may be in worldly sense.

Hope it helped. Give me an opportunity to open my heart to you by sharing your thoughts in comments.

Joy, Peace, Love and Growth to all.

Photo Credits

People started talking about their dreams and some of those unfilled because of compulsion of working for money. I suggested parallel path as a solution because of my conviction that in near future, it will be common for people to pursue two careers side by side.

How do you make success of two careers at one go. Simple establish yourself in first – it may take 2-5 years depending upon your field – and then move on to the second one.

What is the best parallel career?  There is no set answer to it but there is a simple path. If you already are doing what you like then get into something which is an extension of your current work. If you are just doing your current job – not liking it much – then you should do something which is close to your heart and try to make it your core work 2-4 years down the line.

Let us explore some examples, first as an extension of your current work.

Sales person to a professional speaker: Both roles are about influencing people – speakers influence a group and sales people mostly a single client. Both should know about the core benefit of their idea, service or product. Do you know that Anthony Robbins, one of world’s most famous motivational speakers started as a salesperson for Jim Rohn, the self-help pioneer?

Spread the message of fitness: You exercise and have a good body. You can start as an instructor working at a local gym in the evening. Want to go a step ahead. Start writing a book for fitness enthusiasts. You can also volunteer to teach underprivileged kids the importance of fitness.

Teacher to heritage guide: A history teacher can explore the option of becoming a heritage walk guide. Start by working part-time in evening with an established walk-organizer and later when your network increases start your own version. Such walks are a big hit worldwide.

If you want to experiment first before jumping the ship – take a group of your friends out in the evening and show them places of historical importance. Give them a perspective which only a lover of history and heritage can give. Start small and scale if that is your vision.

Different path from what you are doing currently

Designer to dancer: If you are sitting throughout the day as a web designer or game developer then in evenings you can explore learning dance first and becoming a dance instructor later. This will get you moving, give you a chance to release your nervous energy and will make your calmer; not to mention additional money that you will make as an instructor.

Find a dance studio which is midway between your office and home, better if it is close to your home. If you are in a job then you can learn before or after work. Entrepreneurs and self-employed can set their own time.

Housewife to VA: If you are a housewife then you can start working as a temp just for fun. There are many opportunities around – you just need to look for them. Housewives can explore the option of becoming a VA (virtual assistant).

Look for interesting mix. If your work now puts strain on body by travelling often then indulge in something that involves more of brain and less of body, and vice versa.

How to start and move ahead on parallel path?

Share knowledge: Simplest way to start on parallel path is to share with people what you already know. Write an email to your friends about your experiences with a new technology. See that it will be of some use to them. If you are into SEO (Search Engine Optimization) then share what it is and how it can benefit businesses that your friends are associated with as employees or owners. If people like what you have to say then volunteer to train them in person.

Good friends and people who appreciate a good deed will mostly likely share it with more people. Idea is to share it with people who can benefit from your knowledge. Do not think too much about it, just write and share with who you feel can use the information.

People, even with right intentions, may not share it; in such a situation just send them a request to share with their friends and colleagues.

If you are an economics graduate then analyze annual budget and share it with colleagues and friends who are not savvy like you. Help them plan their important purchases to benefit from budget.

You can also shoot some of your own videos and put them on a free video hosting service like YouTube. Start with sharing the link with some of your friends. Do not push too hard, if it is good it will go far.

Volunteer: Offer your services for free to a non-profit serving old age people who are alone at home. Devote some free hours at a local elementary school. If Olympics or Commonwealth games are coming to your city then apply to become a volunteer. If all slots are already full and you want to do it – what about writing to the CEO. It is not very hard these days to find the email id of a high level official. Don’t be spammy, just give the person a genuine reason to look at your mail or listen to what you have to say.

Start small and do the best you can: Parallel Path gives you a chance to live your dreams. You wanted to become an Olympian while you were a teenager. Now you have crossed 40. What to do? Simple, innovate. Think about creating a league of your favorite game for those over 40. Just create a contest name something like 40 but naughty – The Great *COMPANY NAME *GAME league. Send a communication through company intranet or send plain old email inviting colleagues and friends aged 40-50 to participate. Try doing this and you soul will be immensely satisfied.

Have your cake and eat it too: Want to travel but stuck in a dead-end job with long hours – start with a weeklong vacation to some unusual place. Better still, take photos, many of them –write about your experience.  Submit this article to some local and national travel publications. Small online publications may be your best bet. If you get no response which will be the likely case when you do it first time – just post it to a popular travel forum and interact with people there.

Repeat this with your next trip. Try writing good and then post on the forum. Share forum link with publications. May be this time you will taste success.

Keep on repeating after your every quarterly travel. Hopefully you will become a published travel writer before your first full year of traveling. Just make sure about uniqueness of the places you go – I said unusual not “run of the mill”.

Club your vacations with learning: You are serious about Yoga. Take a break once a year and learn Mysore Yoga. Learn for few years and become a certified teacher. This is a highly valued expertise and gets you started on a lucrative and satisfying career. You just need to practice Yoga for 2 hours a day during vacations.

For lovers of fast: You want to get started on parallel path really fast. There are some options – become a scuba diver or a DJ (Disc Jockey). Becoming a DJ can be a good choice for you if you have a thing for music but cannot sing to save your life. This you can do for fun or money. Both are important. Choice is yours.

Learn to market yourself: Are you a technology junkie with a heart for writing songs? What is the way for you to start the journey on parallel path? Just engage a good singer, record in a local professional sound studio and put it online on YouTube and also host on a web-based radio station. If you yourself can sing than do not miss a chance to sing at a family function. At least your soul will be satiated.

Who knows, your musical career may launch sooner than expected. You will have good success if you be persistent with promotion. Even if it does not work you will be richer in experience.

Hope I have given you many ides to start with. You may share your own ideas and thoughts in comments or ask questions if you have any?

Wishing your success on a parallel path.

Photo Credits

The answer is that your past does not love you. It cannot; because it is already dead. It is far gone. It became dead the very moment it passed. You miss it because you are a living being but as I said the case with time gone by is not the same. Now when you know it is dead what the point in living with it is? Think about it.

Wait a minute to understand more. Here we are talking about the past that creates negative vibes – lost opportunities, missed chances, relationships gone sour and stuff like that. I am glad that you understood.

By all means cherish all that is good that brings smile to your face – lovely memories, your time in wilderness, first time your child walked, your first salary, your first love (just in case more followed). These are all for keeps.

So now we understand the need to get away from – not so pleasant – part of the past. You are here so you realize it but who will tell other people – millions and millions of them. You will. Point your friends to this piece or write your own but do something.

This is a problem of individual and also of the humanity. In a world with population of close to 7 billion people the impact of this “living in the past” mentality is huge; because of this mentality world is losing on its chance to live today to the fullest.

People of the world and more importantly the leaders of the nations need to understand that past is a lost currency. The mistakes of yesteryears make today’s world bitter. If that was not the case people will be happier and we will experience a world where everybody was with a smile on their face.

Look at countries that have been living in the past. The past is so well ingrained in the psyche of their citizens that they see no future and do not enjoy the present.

A child in Iraq is same as a child in Russia, Ethiopia or India. If we forget the past and all mistakes that leaders of other countries have made then we will create the foundation of a new world – one world. I am a hopelessly positive person and would assume that you also are. So let us stop living in old world and the buried past. Let us create the foundation of a new world – one based on a religion called love and oneness.

There will be peace, joy and contentment and this can be our greatest present to future generations. A world free of war, hatred and filled with love, hope, possibilities and opportunities.

You may not realize but like laughter and love, hatred is also contagious. So when you act like hating somebody outside your country then chances are that you will also hate your own countrymen based on religion or geography. So hatred is not a good idea, love is.

You will agree that every great movement starts from an individual so move back from macro to micro – from world to one single person – the unit of a civilization. If we can set the individual right then neighborhoods will be alright. When neighborhoods will be all right so will be the states, countries and ultimately the world.

So let us try to get individuals out of the gloom of past. I say try because I can only share ideas – you, the one reading this piece, need to put this in action.

Let us understand why living in past is not such a good idea.

• It cannot give you anything: anything apart from lessons. It takes away precious time from you that you could have spent thinking ahead, acting in the direction of your dreams; giving love and providing genuine value to people around. The time you could have taken in living life to the fullest.
• Lost productivity: for example your work that was affected because of a terrible day meeting clients yesterday.
• Lost opportunities: when you are driven by past you tend to close yourself to exiting new vistas of growth.

Why it happens

• Because it is easy to let yourself loose thinking that;
  • What is the harm in overeating today if you went on hogging entire past week?
  • You cannot find real friends because you never had any – past your school days, not in college, not at work. May be you never gave yourself time to find people to become part of your life.
  • You cannot succeed because none of your earlier attempts at entrepreneurship have succeeded. The real reason often is not trying long enough. If you think that you have tried then reason may be – impractical idea, wrong timing, not finding the right partners or trying to make a fast buck.

You got to remember that when you say all this to you then you are closing doors of opportunities on yourself.

• It also happens because we have been conditioned that way through influences spread over a long time.

How you can get out of the living in the past mould?

• Understand that there is light at the end of tunnel. Nobody knows about future. But it is a good idea to move into an unknown terrain with quiet confidence and hope that future has something good in store for you. Even if something – not so favorable – comes up then move ahead with a confident stride. If you do not do it then you will be the one to lose.
• Seek hope not despair: Read stories of hope and be in touch with people who tend to live in present than walk around like zombies of past.
• Learn to move on: Yes, what has occurred is a part of past. You cannot do anything about it. Of course you can have some takeaways – learning, ideas for a book or movie. That is all about it, nothing beyond. Move on after you have received your bit.
• Take good things along: Everything about past is not bad. There are good things also. There are sweet memories of selfless love and little moments of joy – like rain showers after a long hot day. Keep these moments, stories, people with you as long as you can. It will make moving on easier.
• Reality: Understand that present is a reality and past is only a black and white picture or sometimes colored picture or video.
• Now is the time to start: Do you think often you could have achieved a lot if only you went to a particular school or you lived in a different neighborhood or your life would have been wonderful if only you married that boy. Put the past behind. Just take a deep breath and start working on that idea that you always wanted to explore.
• Keep a record book or diary: This helps in noting down where you started and where you are right now. If you look closely – each one of us starts at zero.
• Understand that past (is not equal to) future: If you were hurt by some friends in the past then it does not mean that you will get hurt again whenever you make friends. Do not be judgmental about things. If you want to act smart then use commonsense to take some time to trust.
• Zero is fun: it is great to have a clean slate. When you start from scratch then you can write a brand new story and create a brand new life for you. You have nothing imperfect to pull you down. You can create magic. Now you also have learning from past to guide you.
• Every day is a new day: and the first day of your rest of your life. Think about it – when you came into this world, you could not talk, recognize people; slowly you started crawling, walking and then running. Similarly everyday you have chance to move on and build on your past.

Now you have read enough, time to get into action mode. Pick you takeaways, get out of your past if not already and create a new life that you deserve on a clean canvas called life.

Photo Credits

The ideas shared here are good for students, start-up entrepreneurs or people who are staying away from family for extended period of time for work on some long-term assignment.

Find a house that you will be happy calling your home: When you are with family, love fills the gap for everything. You may be living in an old house but when you go home you will know that there are people who care for you. But when you are way then your house will be your friend. Look for a place that you are comfortable in. Check out for neighborhoods that you like and house that have amenities that you are used to. If you are leasing it is good to check with property owner for basic guidelines. Look out for any restrictions on time or bringing friends home. Do not look for perfection but see that most of the facilities that you need are provided.

Find friends: It is good if you already have a friend living in the place that you are moving to. If that is not the case then find friends who have some common interests. During my stay away period I made many good friends.  One of those friend and I recently worked on organizing a local TEDx.

Have fun and live your dreams: Many a times when we are living close to our families, we are fully immersed into social obligations. Take time away to do what you always wanted to do. You enjoy dancing and want to take professional training. Go ahead and do that. I did exactly the same. I loved the mornings that use to start in the dance studio with the sound of ‘Aicha Aicha’. Live your dreams and not somebody else’s – but just do it, this is the best time.

Focus and step towards success: if you want to create, solitude is a necessity. No need for 24 hours of solitude but it is good to have couple of hours in a day to create. When you are staying alone there is nobody to bother you. Of course you will have errands to run; but you can batch those and set your own schedule. In a way you will have more control on how you choose to spend your time. So enjoy your time and work on something that you always wanted to do. My times away from roots gave me an opportunity to write more, speak to diverse audiences in different settings. You can use this time to focus and do your thing. Steve Jobs created Apple in similar situations and many more heroes big and small made their success using focus and solitude.

Work to a schedule: When you are living your life on your own there is also risk of going overboard. Because nobody is around to talk to you about things – right or wrong. So get connected with your conscience and do what you feel is the right thing to do. It will develop your ability to take decisions. If you observe outcome of your decisions and learn from it then over a period of time you will learn to take decisions that work.

Also when you are working or having fun – know when it is time to stop. Of course no point stopping when you are – in the zone – and going with the flow while writing, hacking, painting or designing. But keep some time aside to eat well, exercise and sleep when you feel sleepy.

Learn to cook: It has two benefits. One is that you will save money; second that you will eat healthy. With a diet of pizzas and burgers it is really to put of extra inches around your waist. Not healthy and does not do anything good for the way you look.

Become involved in community: By doing so you open your mind to new experiences through which new opportunities emerge. This also helps you hone your leadership skills and you get to know right people.

In a similar situation, I founded a group of existing and wannabe bootstrap entrepreneurs. The effect was two-prong. I got to know the community; people appreciated what I was doing and opened their homes and hearts for me. I learned new things and also got opportunity to share ideas and thoughts. There were many ideas that we discussed in those days. One of my good friends and I used to meet over lunch regularly then and talk about doing things together. Later we went on to do our own things but those discussions shaped our current lives in some way. So go out, start a movement, meet with people on the same path and see if you can move on the journey together. Two better than one – is true most of the times.

Stay connected to your roots: When you are away make an effort to stay connected to your roots. Once in a while say hi to your old friends; because it is always good to stay in touch with your childhood friends. These are people who knew you since you were without worldly masks. They know at least a part of who you really are. When we will grow old, it will be good to sit with these friends and talk about good old days.

I am sure you have some experiences to share. Take a chance and share your thoughts in comments. Your simple experience may be profound for others.

Bonne Chance.

Photo Credits

The reason behind such situation may be you or somebody else. How it can be you? You get stressed when you set unrealistic expectations of yourself. If you tell yourself that you will finish your first book – writing not reading – in a week’s time; now that is what I call unrealistic. One week is fine for a 40-50 page eBook but a little too less for a 200-300 page book.

It is tough when you expect yourself to be a millionaire in a year’s time if you are starting at zero. It will sure make you tensed. Not that it may not happen but chances are same – 1 in a million. Anybody with some commonsense will tell you that it is asking for too much. It may happen but one cannot plan for it.

So, first step is to set realistic expectations.

Now that is about the big picture. Let us go simpler than this.

If you ask me what to do now to relax if something got on to your nerves; here is what I’ll say.

Breathe: Take a deep breath, and then take two and some more, take as many deep breaths as makes your calm. Normally you should be ok after 10. Did I tell you that you should not be looking at email or facebook while you do this?

Talk: If this happens when you are at work your best bet is to talk to somebody who is close to you preferably somebody not from your workspace. Talk to a friend or someone in family.

Switch off: It may be because of incessant stream of interruptions – usual culprits will be email, mobile phones, social networks, twitter etc. Switching off for a while or for couple of hours will help.

There is nothing like switching off for a week altogether or for a week – nothing like a fortnight, if that is a possibility. For God sake leave back your blackberry or whatever phone you use for staying connected. For any emergency use your old phone where listening to and making calls is the only functionality.

Walk: Go for a small walk round the corner really trying to notice things on road.

Scream: Scream at the top of your voice if that can be done.

Play: indulging in a game or some vigorous exercise helps you step away from a situation and works wonder.

Take a shower: Cold water helps your cool down.

Just lie down: Get into some loose clothes and lie down on the floor or a bed. If you are tired then take a nap.

Eat: If you have been hungry for long it does not do any good for your mood. So eat chocolate or munch on some almonds depending of you healthy eating quotient.

Indulge: Listen to your favorite music, watch your favorite movie or go shopping.

Do the new: Get into new clothes, yes it works.

That was for now. Later when you are more relaxed just think about if something is making you tensed off late. If it is unfulfilling work, stop doing that as soon as possible; problem in relationships then sort it out.

It may also be about your nature to procrastinate often; if it is so then try and change it one day at a time.

Read serenity prayer and try to live by it if it appeals to you;

Prayers strengthen your soul and keep you calm.

And twitter is no evil – at times it helps you get in the flow and take a well deserved break. So do that if it works for you.

Photo Credits

Take time to know yourself: This act alone will make your life easier and better at many fronts. You will be at ease with yourself and in such situation people around you will be happy being with you. When you know your talent and truth then you can help people better and provide genuine value.

Simple, if you do not have money how can you give it to somebody else. Also to share knowledge you first need to have some activated grey cells. Take time to know what is special about you and create your value offering around that.

If you are full of love then you will be able to give it other people. If you are full of hatred or negative energy then first realize this. Get a dose of love yourself from somebody who is flowing with it – a child or your guru. Then go out and change the world the way you want.

Do not make false promises: Deliver what you say you will. If you tell your friend that you will help him prepare the paper that you are good at then do it. Do not just walk back on your offer thinking that with your help his paper will become better than yours. You are right in thinking practically but there is no harm in finishing your paper first and then help your friend.

If you are making false promises on a regular basis then you are closing doors. What is the use of knowledge if you can’t share and spread it? Give joy and you get it back, same is true of love. Try it and your life will be never be the same, of course in a positive way.

Be a man of word if you want to be happy personally or grow professionally. Take your wife out on weekend on 15^th if you said so on 1^st. Email the presentation to your boss even if the meeting is postponed.

Only say that you will do it when you are 100% sure that you will be able to deliver. If you are too tired on weekend then share it with your friends who offered you to come and watch weekend movie. You can tell them this weekend you want to relax and be with family. You have no right to rob them of the joy they could have experienced if you were with them.

Be willing to help genuinely: If you have less time and want to help a lot of people them become a preacher or write a book. If what you have to offer is good then your words and ideas will and should reach out to a lot of people. Take time to gather your thoughts in an email, blog, PDF or create a video and send across to people who you think will appreciate getting it and will benefit from it.

Schedule time to give: In your day, week or month put set number of hours to help people and enrich their lives. Do not be overly sacrificing. Just keep a commonsensical number.

Secure your basic needs first: If you really want to give genuine value then you need to first secure you base. Do for your family first and think about the world later. It is not being self-centered but being responsible to people who rely on you for certain things.

Later when you have fulfilled your one major dream then go out on a mission to help.  Bill Gates did this. For close to 3 decades Microsoft was the main cause of his life. Having done his bit there he is now devoted to the cause of public service through “Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation”.

This is not to suggest that you need to wait 30 years to show your philanthropic side to the world or you need to have the level of wealth Bill Gates has. But having secured your own and your family’s daily bread, you can focus better on causes that enrich soul.

Invest time in understanding human behavior and reach out: Before you can provide any value to a person you need to understand the real need. There are people out there who need help but do not ask. You need to reach out and share what can add value to their lives.

I am sure you will be able to find some workable ideas here and experience the REAL joy that comes from giving.

Photo Credits

Since advent of internet we slowly started moving towards a 24×7 lifestyle. I sometime feel if human beings could somehow manage without sleep they would not even care to sleep. But you know that it is not humanly possible. So thankfully we sleep, get some rest and remain sane.

Many businesses exist today that would not have existed in pre-web era. Google is a prime example of a huge business based on the opportunity that web presented. No doubt web and connectivity helps us. Nobody could have imagined 20 years ago that so much information will be only a click away and that too for free. Though if you look deeper it is not free – there is no monetary exchange but we exchange our attention for the information we get and our attention is limited.

With this limited attention span situation; it was only time before somebody offered a solution to get our lives back from a 24×7 world. Tim Ferriss did that. He offered a solution through his widely popular “Four hour work week (FHWW)”. FHWW suggested that you work only for four hours or so in a week by using outsourcing as solution. FHWW is an interesting idea and most likely will pass test of time.

But we as human beings are mostly scared to jump in uncertain terrains. We are sacred of taking big leaps of faith. What I am suggesting is a middle path – a 4×4 approach to life. When you use this approach you need not outsource. You can do your own work, do the way you want it and still have time to live life to the fullest.

What is 4X4 – it is working 4 hours every day, 4 days a week. Rest of the time you can put to best use as you think is right for you. It is for people who are looking for a way out – who are not ready to convert to FHWW yet. In the end you may convert or become a 4×4 triber for life or as long it suits you.

It is simpler than it looks. If you are somebody who works 9×5 then you will usually take 30 minutes to settle in, 30 minutes for water cooler chit chat, 1 hour for lunch and another 1 hour for coffee, tea, smoke, toilet or whatever breaks. So in a usual 8 hour work day you are already doing only 5 hours of real work.

In a 4×4 situation, you commit to work only 4 hours a day, 4 days a week – with a fixed start and end time. When you know that you are working on a 4 hour day then you will be more energetic, focused and productive. Just cut the breaks to a minimum in this 4 hour period. Make this time either your pre or post lunch time – so no much lunch breaks. You should keep three 5-minute breaks. Chances are that you will accomplish more in a 4 hour work day than in your 8-hour (on face, but 5 hours actually) work day.

Paulo Coelho already does this. He spends mornings doing the stuff that he loves – archery and a walk on the beach and likes. It is only in the afternoon that he connects to the world.

You owe it yourself to give this a try. You will be happy having tried this and may be one day thank me for having shared this with you.

To a good life for all.

Please share your thoughts in comments.

Photo Credits